“We’re going to a party…”
There’s something I want you to imagine, and you’re going to need a pen and paper to do it… Got one? Good! Let’s start…
Imagine you’re at a dinner party with 6 strangers. They’re all talking about astrophysics… not one of your favourite topics of conversation. You’re trying your best to join in but every time you do you’re met with blank expressions, rolling eyes and groans. Every now and then they switch languages and start speaking Chinese – a question comes your way and although you want to answer them you don’t understand what they’re saying, you can’t reply and feel embarrassed.
Here’s where the pen and paper come in. Write down your thoughts to the following questions…
- What do you think about your fellow diners?
- How many conversations are you likely to start?
- How confident are you feeling and how does your body language reflect this?
- Did you like the dinner party and more importantly, would you come back if you were invited?
Ok, so you go to a second dinner party. This time it’s with your friends. As you walk through the door a cheer goes up and everyone gives you a hug. You sit down, everyone turns to face you and immediately start listening to what you say. They ask questions about all of your favourite conversational topics, they laugh at your jokes and seem really glad that you’re here.
Think about those questions again and write down your thoughts…
I’m guessing, but I would think that you preferred the second dinner party!
It’s a blunt analogy but I wanted to think about how our communication skills can be affected by the people around us. At the second dinner party I imagine you felt more relaxed, started up conversations more frequently, felt ‘more connected with the people around you, talked for longer… More importantly you saw those people as people you wanted to communicate with and, because of this, you used your communication skills to their maximum potential.
For children and adults who have communication impairment what may be perceived as a ‘reluctance‘ to interact may actually be a difficulty ‘connecting’ with those around them. If their interaction style isn’t compatible with then it is up to adult to adapt their interaction style so communication can take place.
The Hanen programme, Intensive Interaction, Son Rise, FloorTime, SCERTS and RDI all acknowledge the importance of being a ‘responsive communicative partner and how important it is for us to think about our communicative behaviour when interacting with children and adults with communication difficulties. The Every Child a Talker, scheme introduced this idea in mainstream schools and noted the positive changes in a child’s communication skills when adults adapted their interaction skills to suit theirs. A book released last year, Promoting Social Interaction for Individuals with Communication Impairments, talked about the positive impact of a being a responsive communicative partner for adult’s with althiemers, children with Autism, young people with congenital deaf blindness, Romanian orphans… The list goes on.
Bear with me, I’m getting to the point! We don’t want to fall into a trap of thinking children and young people can’t have meaningful interactions with the people around them because of their communication impairment. Both communication partners need to take responsibility for a positive interaction and this means looking at how you are seen as a communicative partner… In essence ask yourself this question… do your communicative partners see you as the first dinner party or the second dinner party?!
And remember to share the strategies you use, the games that you play with other people so they can have as much fun too…
VideoProfiling Team
